If you have anxious attachment, this episode is for you.
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You might not be double-texting.
You might not be chasing in obvious ways.
You might even look secure on the outside.
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And yet… you’re still not being chosen.
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In this episode, I’m breaking down the subtle, unconscious ways people with anxious attachment are still chasing love without realising it - and why simply “acting secure” doesn’t change your relationship outcomes.
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I share my own personal stories, client patterns, and the six chasing archetypes I see over and over again in people who want love, stability, and commitment - but keep recreating the same painful dynamics.
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We cover:
• The difference between secure behaviour and anxious survival strategies
• How anxious attachment shows up as fixing, proving, pleasing, performing, waiting, or hyper-independence
• Why you can stop chasing on the surface and still sabotage love underneath
• How self-concept and subconscious beliefs determine who chooses you
• Why being “low maintenance”, overly understanding, or hyper-independent is still chasing
• How these patterns keep recreating partners who don’t fully choose you
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If you’ve ever thought: “Why am I still not chosen even though I’m doing everything right?”
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This episode will help you see exactly what’s happening - clearly, honestly, and without blame.
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Find out your dominant chasing archetype
Most people don’t just have one - but there is usually one that runs the show underneath.
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👉 Take the free Chasing to Chosen Quiz here
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When you know how you’re chasing, it becomes much easier to stop sabotaging love without realising it.
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Ready to shift from chasing to being chosen?
If you recognise yourself in this episode, the work to change these patterns is inside my Chasing to Chosen Masterclass.
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👉 Watch the Chasing to Chosen Masterclass here
And if you’re trying to manifest love, shift a current relationship, or attract someone new - make sure you listen to next week’s episode. Hit FOLLOW so you don't miss it!
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If you’re ready to experience this work directly, explore my masterclasses or my signature program Anxious to Secure in Love where The Candice Tamara Secure Method™ is taught in full.
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Free Masterclass: Stop Sabotaging Love
Signature Program: Anxious to Secure in Love
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Connect with me on Instagram @candicetamara_
Ways to work with me: Click here
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