51. Why "Just Sit With Your Feelings" Is Terrible Advice: The Dangerous Gap in Traditional Emotional Processing

Register for the workshop here📆

In this raw and revealing episode, I pull back the curtain on one of the most damaging pieces of advice in modern therapy: "just sit with your uncomfortable feelings." What happens when this well-intentioned guidance collides with a nervous system that's primed for survival? I share the heartbreaking story of a woman whose OCD symptoms intensified dramatically after following this common therapeutic recommendation.

• Why "feeling your feelings" without proper nervous system regulation first can actually deepen trauma patterns rather than heal them
• The neurobiological reason why developmental trauma makes traditional exposure techniques feel impossible (it's not your fault!)
• The missing step between activation and processing that changes everything
• How proper regulation creates the essential container needed to process difficult emotions without retraumatization
• The neuro-somatic approach that works with your biology instead of against it

I break down the biological reasons why so many women struggle with traditional anxiety and OCD treatment approaches. When trauma has altered your brain's regulatory centers, "just sitting with feelings" isn't just difficult—it can reinforce the very patterns you're trying to break.

This isn't about willpower. It's about working with your nervous system's unique wiring—not against it.

Discover the critical step that transforms emotional processing from overwhelming to empowering. Learn why creating a regulated state first allows you to:

• Process past survival energy without becoming retraumatized
• Create new neural pathways for managing difficult emotions
• Break free from the shame cycle of "not doing it right"
• Find freedom from symptoms that have felt immovable

"I felt so broken before, like I couldn't even do the ONE thing my therapist kept telling me to do. Learning that my nervous system literally wasn't wired to 'just sit with' these feelings without regulation first changed everything. Now I have tools that actually work for MY body." - Recent client

If this episode resonates with your own struggle to "sit with feelings" successfully, know that your nervous system is likely doing exactly what it was designed to do. The key isn't trying harder—it's shifting the approach to work with your biology, not against it.

Ready to experience proper nervous system regulation and transform your relationship with difficult emotions? Book an Emotional Alchemy session to discover the difference proper regulation makes: [Click to book]

• Polyvagal Theory and its implications for emotional processing
• Neuro-somatic regulation techniques
• The window of tolerance concept and why it matters for emotional healing
• Research on developmental trauma and brain development

Remember: Your struggle to "feel your feelings" isn't a character flaw—it's a biological response to past experiences. Healing is possible when we work with our nervous systems instead of against them.