Have you ever dreamed about someone you’ve lost and woken up feeling as though you’d truly spent time together again? Perhaps they were laughing, healthy and completely themselves, or perhaps the dream was harder, full of searching, illness or a goodbye you never got to say. In this episode of The Happier Life Project, Gabby is joined by Dr. Joshua Black to explore one of the most mysterious, comforting and sometimes painful parts of grief: dreams about the people we’ve lost.
Joshua is a grief and bereavement researcher, speaker, educator and host of the Grief Dreams Podcast. He holds a master’s degree and a PhD in Psychology, and his research has explored dreams and waking experiences of deceased loved ones, continuing bonds, bereavement during the COVID-19 pandemic, and bereavement in the context of homelessness. He is also the co-director and co-producer of the documentary No Fixed Address: The White Cart Memorial, which sheds light on grief among people experiencing homelessness, and is dedicated to raising awareness of the needs of bereaved people who may not have access to support and resources after a loss.
Gabby and Joshua begin with the basics: what grief dreams actually are, how common they are, and why our minds might bring a relationship back to us while we sleep. Joshua shares the personal experience that first drew him to this work, a dream about his dad that became a turning point, and reflects on what years of research and conversations with bereaved people have taught him. He also shares a surprising finding from his research: dreams of deceased loved ones are often positive, bringing feelings of comfort, love and connection.
The conversation turns to visitation dreams and the big questions that come with them. Are these experiences visits from the people we’ve lost, or the mind finding its own way to process grief? Joshua explains how he approaches this question as a researcher while honouring how profound these experiences can feel, and explores what difficult dreams and nightmares might reveal about grief, including the relationship between trauma and our experiences of loss.
Gabby and Joshua also discuss continuing bonds, the idea that our relationships with loved ones don’t end when they die but change shape. They explore how grief research has moved away from the old belief that healthy grieving means detaching and letting go, and what can happen when we try to suppress, avoid or deny our grief.
This is a warm, honest and deeply human conversation about grief, dreams and the enduring nature of love. Because losing someone doesn't mean losing the bond we share with them. Sometimes, that connection finds its way back to us in our dreams. Whether you're curious about the psychology of dreams, trying to make sense of an experience of your own, or hoping to better understand grief and the people around you, this episode is for you.
To download the My Possible Self App: https://mypossibleself.app.link/podcast
My Possible Self Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mypossibleself
Joshua’s Website: https://www.griefdreams.ca/
Joshua’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/griefdreams
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