Many of us learned that goodness was attached to obedience, obedience to approval, approval to belonging, and belonging to safety. Before long, we became experts at reading the room without ever learning how to read ourselves. Even as grown women, we can find ourselves self-censoring, overexplaining, and organizing our lives around what our parents, friends, communities, or people on the internet might think.
This isn’t a simplified “fuck what they think and do whatever you want” conversation. It is an invitation to notice who is sitting on the imaginary board of directors for your life. Whose approval are you seeking? Whose needs are you prioritizing over your own? And why are you giving your power to people—or systems—that may not even know how to wield their own?
You can remain in relationship, consider other perspectives, and take in all the information in the world without surrendering your authority. The deeper work is learning to filter those voices through your own lived experience and intuitive knowing, so you can build a firmer foundation within yourself, reconnect with what you know, and bring your power and magic home.
In this episode, I explore:
How purity culture shapes women even outside organized religion
The connection between obedience, approval, belonging, and emotional safety
Why women learn to read the room before learning to read themselves
How fear of judgment leads to self-censorship and overexplaining
The parents, friends, communities, and systems holding an imaginary vote in our lives
The difference between considering other perspectives and surrendering your authority
Questions to help you identify where you are outsourcing your power
Rebuilding self-trust and reconnecting with your inner knowing
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