He always. She never. I can't trust you anymore. These aren't simply complaints; they are the architecture of a story. And the degree to which a couple is committed to that story is, in my experience, very close to the degree to which the couple suffers inside it.
Join me in this episode as I explore one of the most consistent patterns I encounter in couples work: the pull toward generalization, and what it costs. When two people become entrenched in the narrative of their relationship, they lose contact with each other and the living, present-moment aliveness unfolding between them. And it's amazing how common this is, and how we'd almost rather stick to the narrative than experience a real encounter, despite the fact that we want so much to connect.
Referenced in this episode: Rumi, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.” John O'Donohue For Love in a Time of Conflict, from To Bless the Space Between Us (2008)
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