Time Doesn’t Heal Trauma. Here’s What Does. | Dr. Christopher Cortman
We’ve all heard the phrase: “Time heals all wounds.”
But does it?
In this episode of Flip Your Mindset, I sit down with Dr. Christopher Cortman, a Florida Licensed Psychologist with decades of clinical experience and more than 80,000 hours of psychotherapy, for a conversation that completely challenges the idea that we simply need to wait for painful experiences to heal.
As Dr. Cortman puts it, time doesn’t necessarily heal old wounds. Time passes.
Healing, on the other hand, is active.
We talk about what happens when trauma, grief, loss, and painful experiences remain unfinished — sometimes for years or even decades. Dr. Cortman explains why the mind can continue protecting experiences that we haven’t fully processed and why avoidance can become one of the ways we survive.
One of the most powerful ideas we explore is that trauma isn’t necessarily the event itself. Trauma is the aftermath — the impact that continues to affect how we see ourselves, other people, and the world around us.
We also talk about what it actually means to process something.
Dr. Cortman describes a healing process that involves remembering, feeling, expressing, releasing, and reframing what happened.
And we go much deeper than that.
In this conversation, we explore:
* Why “time heals all wounds” can keep people stuck
* What active grieving actually looks like
* Why unprocessed experiences can continue affecting us decades later
* How avoidance can become a survival mechanism
* Why the mind and body can protect painful experiences rather than resolve them
* The difference between a traumatic event and the aftermath of trauma
* How childhood experiences can affect us even when we don’t consciously remember them
* Why feeling safe is essential before someone can revisit painful experiences
* How guided imagery can be used when working with trauma and grief
* What “unfinished business” means in the healing process
* How shame can keep people trapped in the belief that they are a bad person
* Why our behavior can make sense when viewed through the context of what we’ve survived
* What it means to “take me to the pain” rather than continue avoiding it
Dr. Cortman also shares some extraordinary stories from his clinical practice, including experiences with PTSD, childhood trauma, grief, and loss.
One story that stayed with me involved a woman who had carried twelve years of depression and guilt after accidentally losing her younger brother in a tragic accident. Through guided imagery, she was finally able to reach a place where she could stop experiencing the memory only through guilt and begin moving forward with her life.
We also talk about the importance of creating enough safety for someone to tell the stories they’ve spent years protecting themselves from.
Because healing can’t be forced.
Sometimes the hardest part is simply reaching the point where your nervous system trusts that it is safe enough to tell the truth.
And ultimately, that’s what I hope you take away from this conversation:
You don’t have to erase your past.
You don’t have to pretend it didn’t happen.
But if something is still hurting you, still interfering with your relationships, your work, your parenting, your sense of self, or your ability to fully experience your life, there may be something unfinished that deserves your attention.
As Dr. Cortman says, his assignment to his clients is simple:
“Take me to the pain.”
And sometimes, that is where the healing begins.
About Dr. Christopher Cortman
Dr. Christopher Cortman is a Florida Licensed Psychologist who has spent decades working with clients around emotional trauma, grief, anxiety, depression, relationships, and other challenges.
He is the author of several books, including Keep Pain in the Past, Take Control of Your Anxiety, Praying for the Darkness, and The Guided Imagery Cure.
You can learn more about Dr. Cortman and his work at:
srqshrink.com
A Note From Me
If you’ve been told that you just need to “give it time” and you’re frustrated because something that happened years ago still affects you, I hope this conversation gives you a different way to think about healing.
Sometimes time isn’t the missing ingredient.
Sometimes what we need is the opportunity, support, safety, and courage to finally process what never got processed.
If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it.
And if you’re new here, subscribe to Flip Your Mindset for more conversations about trauma, shame, healing, and learning to see ourselves and our lives through a different lens.
Listen to the episode and let me know:What is something you’ve been told that you now see differently?
#TraumaHealing #TraumaRecovery #MentalHealth #Grief #PTSD #ChildhoodTrauma #Healing #GuidedImagery #EmotionalHealing #FlipYourMindset
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit flipyourmindset.substack.com/subscribe
