You can be a technically solid coach and still feel that something is missing and your client can feel it too. That subtle gap is what we dig into with leadership and executive coach Nancy Hauschild, author of “The Observed and the Observer: Stripping Away the Layers to Find Your Deepest Presence,” from Choice Magazine’s theme on The Gift of Presence.
We talk about the difference between the observed and the observer: the surface identities we can list on a resume versus the meta-awareness that can watch our thoughts, urges, and “coach persona” in real time. When the inner performer shows up as the fixer, the expert, or the relentlessly helpful coach, it can contaminate the conversation and quietly pull us out of true coaching presence. Nandi shares how noticing that impulse without acting on it changes how we listen, how we build trust, and how clients feel genuinely seen.
From there, we reframe presence as transmission. It is not only what we think we bring to the session, but what the client actually receives from the quality of our attention. We unpack the “glass pane” phenomenon where a session can check all the ICF boxes but still feel disconnected, and we map three layers of presence: being with another, being with yourself, and creating an environment where deeper client insight becomes possible. Nandi also makes it clear that trauma is not the price of admission for depth; the real doorway is willingness to do your own work through curiosity, mentoring, and supervision.
Listen through, try the five-minute presence exercise we link in the show notes, and then tell us what changed. If you found this helpful, subscribe, share the episode with a coach friend, and leave a review so more coaches can find it.
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