How do I build more intimacy in my marriage?
And is intimacy really the same thing as sex?
In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau sits down with Tony and Lisa DeLorenzo of One Extraordinary Marriage to explore what intimacy actually looks like in a healthy Christian marriage.
Tony and Lisa have been married for 26 years and have spent more than a decade helping couples understand marriage, communication, connection, and sexual intimacy. Their book, The Six Pillars of Intimacy, grew out of their own marriage and their desire to give couples a simple framework for strengthening their relationship as a whole.
One of the biggest ideas in this conversation is that intimacy is much bigger than sex.
Tony explains intimacy as closeness and connection, opening up a broader conversation about emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual intimacy.
We also talk about how vague language can create confusion in marriage. Instead of simply saying, “I want more intimacy,” couples can learn to identify what they actually need: more emotional connection, better communication, more affection, or greater sexual intimacy. Clarity makes it easier to take action.
In this episode, we explore:
- How to build more intimacy in your marriage
- The difference between sex and intimacy
- Why emotional intimacy matters
- The 6 Pillars of Intimacy
- How communication creates connection
- Practical ways to have better conversations
- Why intimacy is a learned skill
- How couples can strengthen different areas of marriage
- Where sexual intimacy fits into the bigger picture
Tony and Lisa also share practical ideas couples can use immediately, including their “walk and talk” approach for creating meaningful conversations without making every serious conversation feel intimidating.
One of the most encouraging parts of the conversation is hearing how small, consistent choices transformed their own marriage. Their message is simple: understand the principles, talk about them with your spouse, and then make them your own.
About Tony and Lisa DeLorenzo:
Tony and Lisa are the co-hosts of One Extraordinary Marriage, where they help couples make their relationship a priority and pursue greater intimacy in every area of marriage. They have been married for 26 years and have spent years teaching couples practical ways to strengthen communication, connection, and intimacy.
Take the next steps with your recovery:
*Take the free Heart Hunger Clarity Quiz
Start understanding what your heart may be hungry for beneath your pornography struggle, emotions, thoughts, and daily challenges.
https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/
*Book a Personal Recovery Plan Session
If you know you need help, the Personal Recovery Plan is a focused conversation where we look at your story, patterns, Heart Hunger, and current season of life and build a practical strategy for moving forward.
https://secrethabit.ca/personalrecoveryplan/
*Download the Freedom Foundations Recovery Guide
Go through Shawn’s 14-episode teaching series covering pornography recovery, emotional maturity, the inner world, and lasting freedom.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1tilH7mi7A2WV9vW6kvSMW0Api8P_QWbs/view?usp=drive_link
Disclaimer:
The Secret Habit Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Shawn Bonneteau provides coaching, not psychotherapy, counseling, medical care, or psychological diagnosis or treatment. This podcast is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical care. Please seek support from an appropriately qualified professional for clinical or medical concerns.
Secret Habit Podcast | Christian Marriage | Marriage Intimacy | Emotional Intimacy | Sexual Intimacy | Marriage Communication | Christian Couples | Six Pillars of Intimacy | Porn Recovery | Porn Addiction Recovery | Healthy Marriage
