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If you've ever wondered why it took so long to get answers, for yourself or for your daughter, this episode is going to feel very familiar.
On this week's episode of The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast, I'm joined by Dr Olivia Kessel, a former medical doctor who graduated from the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland and began her career in the trauma unit at Johannesburg General Hospital.
Olivia is now the host of the SEND Parenting Podcast and has spoken at the UK House of Lords on patient-centred care, appeared on BBC Radio and BBC Sounds, and addressed healthcare professionals and policy leaders on neurodiversity. She is also the mother of Alexandra, fourteen, who has mild cerebral palsy, dyslexia and ADHD, and the author of Beyond the Label: Empowering Parents of ADHD Girls.
In this episode, Olivia shares the remarkable and deeply personal journey that took her from practising medicine across three continents to founding the SEND Parenting community, after years of not recognising ADHD in her own daughter despite her medical background. We talk about why girls are still being diagnosed four to five years later than boys, how emotional dysregulation, masking and internalised struggles are so often missed, and what parents can actually do when they find themselves navigating a system that wasn't built for their child.
In this episode, we cover:
Why girls with ADHD are still being diagnosed four to five years later than boys, and what needs to change
How ADHD can present in girls as anxiety, people pleasing and internalised struggle rather than hyperactivity
Why 52% of people with dyslexia also have ADHD, and why the two should never be looked at in isolation
The emotional dysregulation that doesn't appear in the DSM diagnostic criteria, and why that matters
Why Olivia, as a doctor, still missed her daughter's ADHD for years
How the EHCP process almost broke her, and why it shouldn't be this hard for any family
The four wheels that need to be running for an ADHD brain to thrive: medication, nutrition, sleep and school support
Why early screening for neurodivergence in schools would benefit every child, not just those who are neurodivergent
How Olivia's daughter Alexandra went from chaos to making cottage pie by herself after finally getting the right support
What parents can bring to their GP to start asking the right questions
Discover other ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast parenting-related episodes here.
Timestamps:
00:00 - Welcome, and introducing Dr Olivia Kessel
01:44 - Olivia's career: from South Africa to Swaziland to the UK
08:55 - The EHCP process, and why it almost broke her
10:16 - How a former medical doctor missed her daughter's ADHD diagnosis
12:19 - Why girls are diagnosed so much later than boys
14:19 - How ADHD presents differently in girls: internalisation, anxiety and masking
16:27 - Dyslexia, ADHD and autism: why they rarely travel alone
18:17 - Sleep, emotional regulation and the things the DSM leaves out
22:06 - What changes when families finally understand their child's diagnosis
24:34 - Parenting with a neuroaffirming lens: Kate's own experience
27:06 - How Alexandra has grown in her own self-awareness at fourteen
30:26 - Why so many neurodivergent people were always there, just hiding
34:27 - Screens, social media and navigating this as an ADHD parent
40:19 - Why schools should teach every child as if they were neurodivergent
43:30 - Olivia's book Beyond the Label, her podcast and her ADHD mum community
45:33 - Why patients are currently leading the doctors on neurodiversity
Links and Resources:
Find my popular ADHD workshops and resources on my website here.
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @adhd_womenswellbeing_pod
Visit Olivia's website: sendparenting.com
Connect with Olivia on Instagram: @drolivia.sendparenting
Listen to Olivia's podcast: SEND Parenting Podcast
Get Olivia's book: Beyond the Label: Empowering Parents of ADHD Girls
Kate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed women with ADHD find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity, and clarity.
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