One of the foundational tools we have as coaches is the concept of “facts” or “circumstances.” This isn’t the same textbook definition that you may be familiar with, but more of an exercise to separate the fact from the story. A fact in this context would be something outside of yourself that in a court of law, people would generally agree with. There’s no value judgement or interpretation. The story is what happens in your mind in response to the circumstance.
Something we can do as coaches is re-introduce facts in order to “upgrade” the “filters” that your brain has applied and therefore change your emotional response. Not to mention that facts are all colored by perceptions, biases, vocabulary, and even sensory input.
In coaching, it’s a delicate balance between allowing clients to have their own perception of reality and working towards changing their story. It’s most important to empower your clients and not get stuck in the fact versus story conversation.
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