Space, Expectations, and Real Intimacy, with Simone Milasas - The Vibe With Ky Podcast | Lyssna här

A man came in from three hours of surfing and asked his partner if she was angry at him. She said no. Why would I be angry? You love surfing. He only asked because the woman he dated before her used to yell at him every single time he went.

That story stopped Ky cold, and it is the heart of this conversation.

A lot of us were trained to read somebody needing space as the beginning of the end. Your partner goes quiet. They want a night alone. And your brain has already written the breakup speech.

Simone Milasas is an author and a relationship facilitator from Australia. She co-wrote Relationship. Are You Sure You Want One?, wrote Joy of Business and Getting Out of Debt Joyfully, and hosts The Choice, Change & Action Podcast. She has spent years in rooms full of people asking her how to fix their relationships, and her answer is almost never the one they showed up for.

Her position is that relationships do not fail from bad communication. They fail from needs, expectations, and projections nobody ever said out loud.

Ky and Simone get into the five elements of intimacy, trust, honor, allowance, vulnerability and gratitude, and why you have to give all five to yourself before you can hand them to anyone else. They talk about the myth of "the one" and how it keeps people stuck. A concept she teaches called creationship. Why she keeps a second bathroom on purpose. And the money conversation she used to book a restaurant table for four to have.

The line that keeps sitting with Ky: when she needs an hour alone, it is not against him, it is for her.

Heads up, there is some language in this one.