When someone in a high conflict relationship insists their partner is entirely uncaring, is that the whole truth — or a sign of something else going on underneath? This episode puts one hypothetical high conflict case through two very different lenses to find out.
Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, and Megan Hunter, MBA, sit down with psychoanalyst Dr. Anthony Mazzella to compare the CARS Method with a psychoanalytic approach to containment, splitting, and setting limits that actually hold. They work the same scenario side by side — a spouse convinced her husband is entirely rejecting her — to show where connecting and EAR statements line up with clinical containment, and where the two approaches genuinely split. Whether you’re in HR, mediation, or your own living room, you’ll walk away with two working models for the same hard moment.
Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.
(00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
(00:37) - On Today’s Episode
(01:14) - Meet Dr. Anthony Mazzella
(05:28) - Where He’s Landed
(06:31) - His Approach to HCPs
(09:54) - Different Views
(11:58) - Disregulated to Regulated State of Mind
(14:35) - Example
(17:00) - Initial Steps
(19:45) - Comparison
(22:58) - Coming Up with Solutions
(25:26) - HR Setting
(30:20) - Differences
(33:05) - Reality Testing
(34:30) - Being More Mindful
(37:29) - Responding and Confronting
(40:20) - Setting Limits
(44:33) - Talking Through the Process
(51:46) - Recap
(54:19) - Treatment of Narcissism
(56:30) - Types of Narcissists and Hope for Treatment
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