Heal the Boy, Free the Man: Outgrowing Porn with Drew Boa

Are you using porn as a pacifier?

Why do certain fantasies feel so powerful?

And can you really reach a place where porn loses its pull?

In this episode, we sit down with Drew Boa, founder of Husband Material and author of Outgrow Porn, to talk about why lasting freedom requires more than simply fighting urges.

Drew describes porn as a pacifier—something many people discovered young and learned to use to soothe pain, loneliness, rejection, powerlessness, or unmet needs. We unpack how specific fantasies can reveal what we’re actually longing for, why understanding both pain triggers and pleasure triggers matters, and how going back into our childhood stories can help us understand where these patterns began.

Drew also shares his practical BOA method: Breathe, Observe, Attune—a simple tool for moving through an urge without fighting against it and learning to identify what you truly need in that moment.

This conversation unpacks how Drew has over ten years of freedom from internet pornography, and a key lies in the ability to “Heal the boy to free the man.”

Resources:

Outgrow Porn Book

Husband Material

R2M:

Restored 2 More

Thanks for listening! We hope this episode brings perspective, and hope right where you are!

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