How to prepare for divorce, divorce confidence, divorce mistakes, custody, finances, and what women need to know before making major decisions.
What happens when a divorce lawyer has actually lived through a difficult divorce herself?
In this episode of Doing Divorce Different, I sit down with family law attorney and divorce survivor Hannah Hembry Bell for an honest conversation about how to prepare for divorce with more clarity and confidence.
Hannah married young, became a mother to three children in quick succession, started law school while raising her family, and then found herself navigating her own divorce and an incredibly difficult custody situation. At one point, she had to borrow $10,000 against a paid-off car just to fund her initial attorney retainer.
Today, Hannah uses that lived experience in her work with women going through divorce.
We talk about one of the biggest mistakes she sees women make: using hope as their strategy instead of getting prepared. We discuss why understanding your finances, gathering documents, learning about the divorce process, and building the right support team can help you approach divorce differently.
But this conversation goes far beyond how to prepare for divorce.
Hannah also shares the message behind her TEDx talk and challenges us to look at whether we're actually enjoying our lives—or simply getting through them.
We talk about want, worth and willingness: acknowledging what you really want, believing you're worthy of it, and developing the courage to take action even when you're afraid of being overwhelmed.
Whether you're considering divorce, already navigating one, rebuilding afterward, or simply wondering if you've become too comfortable playing it safe, this conversation will encourage you to take one thoughtful step toward a life that feels more intentional.
Because how to prepare for divorce isn't only about paperwork.
It's about information, support, confidence—and learning to trust yourself again.
Timestamps
(00:00) Meet divorce survivor turned family law attorney Hannah Hembry Bell
(03:00) Marrying young and becoming a mother to three children
(07:00) Law school, motherhood and beginning to question her marriage
(11:00) The moment Hannah realized something wasn't right
(15:00) Entering divorce completely unprepared
(19:00) The financial reality of a contested divorce
(23:00) Making the heartbreaking decision to move without her children
(28:00) Divorce, law school and graduating valedictorian
(33:00) Returning to court for a custody modification
(38:00) How Hannah's own divorce changed the lawyer she wanted to become
(42:00) Why women need to prepare for divorce differently
(46:00) The mistake of using hope as your divorce strategy
(49:00) Creating My Confident Divorce and a different model of legal support
(54:00) Why divorce involves more than legal paperwork
(58:00) Hannah's TEDx message and the “medium suck life”
(1:02:00) Want, worth and willingness
(1:06:00) Lesa opens up about her fear of becoming overwhelmed
(1:10:00) How to build your courage muscle
(1:15:00) Why Hannah started saying yes to more experiences
(1:19:00) Letting go of certainty and making room for surprise and joy
(1:23:00) The question to ask yourself this week
Key Takeaways
- Hope is not a divorce strategy. If divorce may be happening, gathering information and preparing yourself can help you make better decisions.
- You don't have to know everything to become more confident. Confidence grows when you understand your options and know which questions to ask.
- Divorce is more than a legal process. Emotional support, mindset, finances, parenting and community can all be important pieces.
- Want, worth and willingness matter. Give yourself permission to acknowledge what you want, believe you're worthy of a meaningful life, and consider what you're willing to do to create it.
- Build your courage muscle. Sometimes growth happens by doing one uncomfortable thing and discovering you're okay on the other side.
Guest Bio
Hannah Hembry Bell is a family law attorney, entrepreneur and divorce survivor whose personal experience navigating divorce and a difficult custody battle helped shape the way she practices law today.
After attending law school while raising three young children and going through her own divorce, Hannah graduated valedictorian and began her career in a large law firm. She later left Big Law to create the kind of family law practice and support she wished she'd had during her own divorce.
She is also the creator of My Confident Divorce, a model designed to combine legal representation with education, mindset support and community for women navigating divorce.
Resource Links
OsteoStrong Minnesota — Lesa's affiliate link:
https://osteostrongmn.com/affiliate-referral-koski/
Soberlink — Lesa's affiliate link:
https://www.soberlink.com/divorce/family-law?utm_source=affiliatelink&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=lesa-koski-affiliatelink
Affiliate disclosure: Some resource links may be affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission if you purchase through them, at no additional cost to you.
Tags/Keywords
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