You hit the targets. Every goal your younger self set, you cleared. But the feeling that came with it was closer to… nothing.
A certain belief comes naturally with success: I earned it, so I deserve it, and having it should feel like something significant.
But look hard at that for a second. Did you build your own intelligence from scratch? Your temperament? The drive you're so proud of, the one that woke you up before everyone else? Or did your genes, your parents, and someone who believed in you early on hand you the traits you credit for it all?
The scientific research is unkind to the belief: The work ethic you treasure most turns out to be mostly inherited, closer to your height than to anything you made.
I know that sounds like a demotion. But it isn't. Learning that you didn't author your success doesn't take the success away. It's what actually enables you to enjoy it. That took me far too long to understand, and I nearly didn't get the chance.
You can earn a fortune. But you can't earn love. Press play.
Show Highlights Include:
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A belief that will sound completely reasonable but that strangles your happiness, leaves you feeling flat after reaching big goals, and can lead to an early grave (1:57)
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How success tricks you into believing stories and half-truths that only exist to keep you stuck, dissatisfied, and unable to rest easily at night (4:03)
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Why being proud of your work ethic is little different, scientifically speaking, than your blood type, height, or hair color (8:50)
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The brutal realization about pride that C.S. Lewis forced me to learn (and why realizing the fatal flaw of pride can set up the rest of your life for unbridled joy) (11:19)
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How to free yourself from your "Scoreboard Mind" that's driven by envy by understanding what the true opposite of envy is (18:00)
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another?
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Take the first step here → https://dtphd.com/quiz
