In this episode, Toshi sat down with Jocelyn Silva to talk all things sexual shame. Jocelyn grew up in a conservative, Spanish-speaking Catholic home in Los Angeles, California. She attended Catholic school, went to weekly confession, and dreamed of becoming a nun at 16 - her entire world revolved around faith. But that faith also taught her to see her body and desires as sinful, leaving her ashamed and feeling disconnected from herself.
When she was 18 and had sex for the first time, this sent her on a different journey. By 21, Jocelyn was a sex educator. She earned a degree in Gender and Women’s Studies, ran a sexual wellness boutique for 4 years, and later completed her Master’s in Social Work. Over 15 years in this field and now 6 years coaching women, men, and couples, she’s learned that our sexuality is not something to be ashamed of – it’s where our power lives.
Together, Toshi and Jocelyn discussed:
- Jocelyn’s journey from wanting to be a nun, to becoming a sex expert
- How she unlearned sexual shame (and how you can too)
- Tips for feeling more confident speaking your desires in the bedroom
- Jocelyn’s #1 sex tip (and it’s not communication)
- How Jocelyn reconnected with her faith
- The conversation you need to be having early on in your relationship
Find more of Jocelyn here: https://www.jocelynsilva.com/
Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
00:46 – How Jocelyn's life plan went from nun, to sex expert
02:42 – Jocelyn's journey unlearning sexual shame
04:34 – The early messages around sex that follow us into adulthood
06:27 – Tips for unlearning sexual shame
11:56 – How to feel more confident expressing your sexual desires as a woman
18:37 – Jocelyn’s #1 sex tip
22:04 – What Jocelyn learned from being a cheater
24:33 – How to sit in discomfort
32:08 – How Jocelyn relearned faith
34:55 – Why you need clarity before a sexual experience
38:22 – The conversation you should have early on in your relationship
41:45 – Where to find more of Jocelyn Silva
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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.
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