In this episode, Toshi had the opportunity to chat with Michelle Fischler all about early ejaculation. Michelle recently published the book ‘Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer’, a practical, shame-aware guide that understands early ejaculation as a nervous system pattern, not a personal failure.
Together, Toshi and Michelle discussed:
- The difference between early ejaculation and premature ejaculation
- The biological drive behind early ejaculation
- Why addressing shame before technique is so important
- How masturbation practices impact early ejaculation
- Tips for managing early ejaculation
- How to talk about early ejaculation with a partner
- And more.
Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro
00:22 – Who is Michelle and what does she do?
01:26 – Why you should listen to this podcast
02:26 – What’s the reason Michelle wanted to write a book about early ejaculation?
07:18 – The way you feel about early ejaculation matters: here’s why
09:17 – Early ejaculation vs premature ejaculation: what’s the difference?
10:32 – The biological drive behind early ejaculation
12:03 – Why unlearning shame around early ejaculation has to happen before bringing in techniques
15:30 – Shame vs guilt: how are they different?
18:25 – Tips for turning down the volume on shame
21:45 – Advice if you’re avoiding sex because of early ejaculation
27:55 – How masturbation impacts early ejaculation
31:20 – How breathing exercises can help early ejaculation (and how to do them)
37:09 – What can cause early ejaculation?
39:05 – How to talk about early ejaculation with a partner
42:00 – Why you should be cuddling with your partner for six minutes after sex
44:42 – What does Michelle think of numbing creams?
47:09 – What you and a partner should know about early ejaculation
50:40 – Why the goal is not perfect control (and what the goal actually should be)
51:44 – Why has it taken so long for a book like this to be written?
55:48 – What people think of the book (and why you should grab a copy!)
Check out Michelle here: https://www.michellefischler.ca/
Grab a copy of her book here: https://getsome.ca/coming-soon-book
Read more about Michelle’s podcast here: https://getsome.ca/
Michelle Fischler, MSW, RSW, RP, is a Toronto-based Registered Psychotherapist, Registered Social Worker, ASTO-certified sex therapist and supervisor, author, speaker, and founder of GETSOME INC.
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