What do you do when your biggest donor wants to fund something that isn’t in your campaign plan? Or when a wealthy prospect makes you uneasy but you can’t quite explain why? These are the kinds of ethical gray areas that surface in nearly every capital campaign—and most organizations aren’t prepared for them.
In this episode of All About Capital Campaigns, Andrea Kihlstedt and Amy Eisenstein tackled the uncomfortable but essential topic of fundraising ethics. Prompted by the ongoing Epstein revelations—where major institutional leaders maintained relationships with a known bad actor long after red flags surfaced—the conversation expanded into the everyday ethical dilemmas that development directors and nonprofit leaders face during campaigns.
The Epstein case is extreme, but the underlying dynamic is common: a donor with deep pockets and wide influence offers access, introductions, and large gifts. When something feels off, the temptation is to look the other way because the money is too important. Andrea and Amy’s message was clear—if you have a feeling in the pit of your stomach, pay attention to it. And more importantly, don’t carry it alone. Surface your concerns to board members, your executive director, or an ethics committee. These decisions should never rest on one person’s shoulders.
But ethics in campaigns aren’t always about bad actors. More often, they show up as values conflicts. Andrea and Amy walked through a real scenario from a current client: a private school running a capital campaign received a million-dollar offer from a parent—but only if the money funded a new gymnasium, which wasn’t part of the strategic plan. The gift sounds generous, but accepting it could siphon other donors away from the campaign’s actual priorities, leaving science labs, scholarships, and teacher training underfunded. For organizations preparing for these kinds of board-level decisions, Capital Campaign Pro’s guide for board members offers a practical framework.
Their recommended approach: don’t say no outright, and don’t say yes in isolation. Take it to the campaign committee. Consult lead donors. Explore a “yes, and” response—perhaps the gym becomes the next project after this campaign, and the donor leads that effort. The key is making it an organizational decision, not a one-person call.
Andrea also shared a cautionary story about a community youth orchestra whose founding values of inclusivity were overridden by a small group of wealthy parents who wanted the orchestra to pursue elite performance. They gained board seats, shifted the mission, and eventually forced out the founders. The community ended up with two competing organizations, neither of which survived. It was a stark illustration of what happens when money is allowed to override mission.
The practical takeaway: don’t wait for an ethical dilemma to arrive before figuring out how to handle it. Build the framework now. Discuss scenarios with your board before the campaign launches. Establish who gets consulted when a donor’s request falls outside the plan. Create a small committee or protocol for when something feels wrong. You don’t need all the answers in advance—you just need a process for finding them together.
Planning a capital campaign? Download Capital Campaign Pro’s free Campaign Planning Checklist to make sure your team is prepared for every stage—including the conversations nobody wants to have: https://capitalcampaignpro.com/checklist/
