Have you ever tried to be kinder to yourself, and ended up feeling worse instead of better?
In this episode of the Building Resilience Podcast, Leah Davidson unpacks "backdraft", a term borrowed from firefighting that explains why self-compassion can sometimes trigger anxiety, grief, or resistance instead of relief. She breaks down why this happens, what it means about your nervous system's old protective patterns, and how to practice kindness in a way your body can actually receive.
Key Takeaways:
- Backdraft happens when kindness "opens the door" on feelings your body had been managing all along, it doesn't create the distress, it reveals it.
- Your nervous system checks new kindness against past experience, if warmth once came with conditions, it learns to treat kindness as unsafe.
- Self-criticism often isn't just a bad habit, it can function as protection, control, or a shield against rejection.
- Resistance to compassion isn't malfunction, it's old information showing up in a new moment.
- The fix isn't more compassion, all at once, it's smaller, slower doses you can actually hold.
- Naming backdraft when it happens ("ah, this is backdraft") interrupts the spiral of self-blame.
LINKS AND RESOURCES:
The Art of Regulation: Doodle Your Nervous System Bundle (Physical journal, worldwide shipping, bonus content and bonus workshop): https://www.skool.com/doodle-your-nervous-system-5944/about
Advanced Training in Nervous System Resilience : https://leahdavidsonlifecoaching.com/coach-training-join
COMMUNITY
MIDLIFE NERVOUS SYSTEM REWIRE COMMUNITY 👑: A low pressure, fun community for “Queenagers” to regulate, not fix, their midlife nervous systems.
Join here: https://www.skool.com/midlife-nervous-system-rewire/about?ref=06e003b61b8148ebbafd3a067f3cc2e1
MENTAL HEALTH STATIONERY - RESILIENT BRILLIANCE PRODUCTS:
1) RESILIENCE JOURNAL: A guided journal for emotional well-being and nervous system care
Amazon US -https://a.co/d/7DpuyVj
2) MY SAFE SPACE : AFFIRMATION AND JOURNAL PROMPT SET
Amazon US - https://a.co/d/2mANQs4
3) WORRY TIME PAD :
Amazon US http://bit.ly/3QSvyv1
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