Maria Ross and Rob Volpe are back! Today, we talk about empathy like it's an emotion: something that washes over you, or doesn't. But what if you don't feel it? Does that make you bad at empathy?
The science doesn't offer a tidy answer. Some researchers show empathy is deeply felt, sometimes so intensely it leads to burnout. Others argue it's a choice we make, turned up or down depending on who's in front of us and what it might cost us. And at least one prominent thinker says we'd be better off with less empathy and more compassion.
Maria and Rob unpack the difference between cognitive empathy, affective empathy, and compassion. They explore whether these are different entry points rather than a sequence, depending on how we are wired.
And they wrestle with a big question: if you can act with compassion simply because it's the right thing to do, where does empathy fit in?
To access the episode transcript, go to www.TheEmpathyEdge.com and search by episode title.
Listen in for…
- The difference between cognitive empathy, affective empathy, and compassion
- Why empathy and compassion light up different parts of the brain, and why that matters for burnout
- Whether empathy is something you're born with or something you can build
- How motivation and social norms shape how much empathy we feel
- Acting with compassion when you don't "feel" empathy, and why that still counts
- How leaders can find their natural entry point and strengthen the others
"If you don't have the empathy with somebody, you're never going to be able to accurately imagine what they're doing. Empathy is not mind reading. Empathy is about connection; it's not predicting the future." - Rob Volpe
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Episode References:
- Rob's newsletter: readingbetweenthelines.beehiiv.com/p/the-real-answer
- Maria's newsletter: red-slice.com/newsletter
- Why Trait Empathy Is the Wrong Measure
- Choosing Empathy: Conversation with Jamil Zaki
- Jamil Zaki, "Choosing Empathy" (Edge.org conversation, with a response from Paul Bloom)
- Jamil Zaki, "Empathy: A Motivated Account" (Psychological Bulletin, 2014)
- Erik Nook, Jamil Zaki, et al., "Prosocial Conformity: Prosocial Norms Generalize Across Behavior and Empathy" (Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2016)
- Geoff Thomas and Gregory Maio, "Man, I Feel Like a Woman: When and How Gender-Role Motivation Helps Mind-Reading" (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2008)
- Tania Singer and Olga Klimecki, "Empathy and Compassion" (Current Biology, 2014)
- Klimecki et al., compassion and empathy training study
- Karla McLaren, "Why Trait Empathy Is the Wrong Measure" (Psychology Today)
- Paul Bloom, Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion
- Jessica Tarlov, I Disagree: Winning Arguments Without Losing Friends
About Rob Volpe:
Rob Volpe is the Founder/CEO of Empathy Activist and the creator of The 5 Steps to Empathy, which he chronicles in his award-winning book Tell Me More About That: Solving the Empathy Crisis One Conversation at a Time. He is a recognized thought leader, speaker, and consultant in the improvement of communication and collaboration in organizations of all sizes in all industries.
Connect with Rob:
Website: robvolpe.expert
Book: Tell Me More About That: Solving the Empathy Crisis One Conversation
X: x.com/rmvolpe
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/rmvolpe
Facebook: facebook.com/EmpathyActivist
Instagram: instagram.com/empathy_activist
Connect with Maria:
Books
Speaker
Learning Courses 1and 2
LinkedIn
Instagram
Facebook
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Check out this offer from our sponsor, Better Benefits USA: Are You Overpaying for Employee Benefits Without Knowing It? Take the free 10-minute benefits audit at https://findbetterbenefits.org/
Download "The Human Middle" Your free guide to resolving workplace conflict from JLG Lawyers- https://thehumanmiddle.ai/
