Is friendship something that just happens to you, or is it a practice you have to actually learn? This week on Rich Queer Aunties, we sit down with Lola to talk about what it takes to build friendships sturdy enough to survive late-stage capitalism, migration, queerness, and becoming your full self.
We get into it: growing up in high-control religious households and how that shaped our relationship to trust, the difference between proximity and intimacy, and why friendship requires consent and agency — not just vibes. Lola breaks down why she stopped handing out the friendship card to anyone who asked, and why "letting things take the time they deserve" has become her guiding mantra. We debate whether rupture has to happen for a friendship to deepen (big R vs. little r), Christabel shares the hard lesson from a 27-year friendship that never saw conflict until it ended, and we all get honest about the parasocial intimacy culture that passes for friendship in places like Oakland.
Plus: why you can't collect friends like Infinity Stones, why acquaintanceship is a valid and underrated category, and why Christabel believes you're either her friend, her community member, or her enemy — and you'll know which one you are.
If you've ever wondered whether you're doing friendship wrong, or whether the people around you are actually your friends — this one's for you.
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Stay connected:
Instagram: @richqueeraunties | @christabelmintahgalloway | @Qingkachi
Catch you in the next one.
XO,
Christabel & Kachi.
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Keywords: adult friendship, friendship as a practice, friendship and consent, rupture and repair in friendship, proximity vs. intimacy, queer friendship, Black friendship, friendship boundaries, community vs. friendship, parasocial relationships, acquaintance vs. friend, Rich Queer Aunties, friendship skills, making friends after leaving religion, friendship and migration
