Most men have been trained to see the “male gaze” as something to apologize for — a coarse, objectifying reflex to suppress or perform your way out of. Either you’re the bro who can’t see past a woman’s body, or you’re the guy in the loafers and matcha latte performing a “female gaze” so hard it becomes its own kind of costume.
In this episode, Jordan revisits a line from The Alabaster Girl that’s followed him for thirteen years — women have a beauty song — and asks Zan whether it still holds. What follows is one of the most philosophically dense conversations on the podcast: gratitude as the lens that transforms looking into witnessing, the difference between a woman posed as a nude and a woman caught naked and unguarded, and why Zan refuses to be embarrassed about the fact that his eyes are drawn to the female form.
They get into the man in the coffee shop who watches a woman order her latte and lets her walk out the door without chasing her — and why Zan calls that moment “code complete.” The phrase Zan wrote in his new book: a woman’s walk is the oldest promise in the world. Freud’s split between exhibitionism and voyeurism, and why every peep show needs a pervert. And Zan’s answer to the discourse around male gaze versus female gaze — which he’d never even heard of before Jordan brought it up.
Watch until the end for Zan’s real-time reinterpretation of John Berger’s “nude vs. naked” distinction — and his own bikini-versus-underwear version of it. __________________________________________________
Ars Amorata, Summer ’26:
Text Her — Stan's course on apps and messaging: from swipe right to archetype. Opens soon. https://amorati.me/courses/text-her/
Perception, Openness, Beauty — Online weekend intensive with Jordan, 18-19 July. Inside the Guild. https://arsamorata.com/guild/
Desire in the Afternoon — Private salon-consultation with Jordan. 25-26 July, Bali. (Two-day option with embodied women's feedback newly added.) https://desireintheafternoon.carrd.co/
Amorati Guild Summer Holiday — A beach weekend in Vama Veche with Zan. 21-23 August, Romania. https://arsamorata.com/guild/ ____________________________________________________
Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/ __________________________________
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ARS AMORATA is a celebration of the art of seduction, the rebirth of romance, and a lifelong quest for beauty and adventure.
Ars Amorata is a philosophy of beauty. It is a way of life. It is not a religion. It is a belief system, similar to the way one might call Stoicism a belief system or a way of life. It is a layer that exists (or not) below all religion and all social structures. And it belongs to all of you.
Philosophers throughout the ages have argued whether beauty is objective or subjective, but in my view, beauty is neither. It is neither inherent as a property of the object (the objective view) nor is it in the eye of the beholder (the subjective view). Beauty is a third thing altogether.
Beauty is prime. It stands alone. It is a thing apart, in Kant's words: a Thing-In-Itself (Ding an sich). Beauty emanates from what Aristotle called the Unmoved Mover, what Plotinus called The One, what scientists call the Big Bang, and what John in the New Testament called the Word or Logos.
Ars Amorata is an attempt to lift Beauty to its rightful place as the primary guiding principle in our hearts and in the world. __________________________________
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