Are you really competing…or just participating?
In this episode of the Competitive Edge Podcast, Brian Covey sits down with sports psychologist Dr. Haley Perlus (20+ years working with elite athletes and corporate high performers) to break down how top performers think, train, and handle pressure without burning out.
You’ll learn:
- The difference between true competition vs toxic comparison
- How to re-ignite your competitive fire in business, fitness and life
- Simple “mental games” to push for one more rep, one more email, one more call
- How to use flow, arousal, and control zones to perform on demand
- Practical one-liners you can use to instantly shift your mindset
- How to build a healthy relationship with failure and past setbacks
- Why focus is a superpower in an age of AI and information overload
- The difference between being emotional vs performing with emotion
- How to anchor your identity in who you are, not just in your roles and titles
If you’ve ever felt like you “used to be competitive” or that your mindset is the only thing keeping you from your next level, this conversation will give you the tools to get back in the arena.
No matter if you’re an athlete, entrepreneur, sales leader, or parent, you’ll walk away with practical phrases, frameworks, and stories you can use today.
2:17 – Dr. Haley Perlus on why competition gets a bad rap
3:25 – Coopetition: Thanking your opponent and using competition to elevate your game
5:22 – How to start competing again when you feel “off your game”
6:22 – Micro-challenges: five more emails, a few more reps, one more call
10:06 – Flow, arousal and control zones explained in simple terms
11:45 – Bike ride story: choosing arousal vs control and finding another gear
12:58 – Can mental toughness really be trained, or is it just talent?
14:28 – Reps, visualization, and planting “thought seeds” in your brain
17:19 – “Neurons that fire together wire together” and why one-liners work
17:55 – Family mantra: “We do hard things” and how to use phrases under pressure
18:58 – Powerful one-liners: “Let’s see what can happen when I…” and “What does this moment need from me?”
21:22 – Stuck on outcomes? How to shift back to process and your strengths
23:20 – Finding your top 3 strengths without personality tests
25:16 – Why too many options kill performance (psychology of persuasion)
27:27 – Making peace with past failures: informational vs nonsense
30:04 – Processing emotions vs overanalyzing game tape
31:15 – Social comparison vs real competition in the Instagram era
33:58 – AI, noise, and why focus is now an elite competitive advantage
36:04 – Concentration as the underrated mental skill for high performers
37:57 – “Not for me” focusing cue and the For Love of the Game “clear the mechanism” moment
39:02 – Teaching kids to refocus and compete in chaotic environments
40:52 – Emotional vs performing with emotion: using anger and energy wisely
42:26 – Butterflies in formation: turning nerves into fuel
43:47 – Pressure as an invitation: the $100 ski race story that changed Haley’s life
46:26 – When to drop unnecessary pressure and when to embrace it
48:29 – Coaches who bet on you before you believe in yourself
49:54 – Rebuilding confidence: writing down your wins and proof
51:11 – Identity vs roles: who you are beyond titles, careers and seasons
52:27 – Applying your core identity to every role in life
53:30 – Brian’s closing challenge: take one idea, implement it, and go compete
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