What if deeper intimacy doesn’t come from finding the “right” person - but from becoming more honest, self-aware, and willing to be real with the person in front of you?
In this episode of Rewire Your Attachment Style, I’m thrilled to welcome someone who has deeply influenced my own understanding of communication and intimacy: psychologist, relationship expert, author, and teacher Susan Campbell, Ph.D.
Susan has spent more than five decades exploring relationships, communication, intimacy, and personal growth. She is the author of eleven books on relationships and the founding teacher of the Getting Real work - a body of communication and awareness practices designed to foster personal healing and deeper connection.
In this powerful conversation, Susan and I explore what it really means to “get real” in love - and why our ability to create intimacy with another person begins with our willingness to become more honest and self-aware within ourselves.
We talk about the fears that prevent us from telling the truth, how to communicate when we feel disconnected, how to ask for deeper listening without making our partner wrong, and why learning how to navigate differences may be one of the most important skills for creating a lasting partnership.
In this episode, we explore:
Susan’s own journey into the study of intimacy, communication, and relationships
Her personal journey to love and what ultimately shifted in her relationship life
What Susan means when she says, “You can only be as honest as you are self-aware.”
What the Getting Real practice is and how it can transform our relationships.
The biggest blocks that prevent people from being authentic and honest in dating.
Susan’s 10 Truth Skills and why they matter.
What a “practice partner” is and how practicing relational honesty can change your life.
What modern daters could do differently to dramatically change their love lives.
How to ask for deeper listening when you're dating someone who talks a lot.
What to do when you feel disconnected from someone on a date.
How bringing your truth into the moment can actually create more connection.
Why the ability to handle differences may be one of the most important predictors of relationship success.
How to begin telling the truth when you have experienced a lot of fear around rejection, conflict, or abandonment.
How to establish a context of emotional honesty at the beginning of a romantic relationship.
What trigger reactions are and how Susan works with her own triggers.
The conversations couples often avoid early in relationships - and why they need to have them.
How honest communication can help create the foundation for deeper, more lasting intimacy.
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