In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Rebecca Ray, clinical psychologist and author, to explore what may really be sitting underneath perfectionism, people-pleasing, and the patterns we use to cope with life. We unpack how survival responses learned in childhood can quietly follow us into adulthood — shaping how we behave, relate to others, and respond when we feel overwhelmed.
Rebecca also explains why simply understanding why you do something isn't always enough to change it, and what it actually takes to interrupt those familiar spirals. We also hear about one of Rebecca's own hardest experiences and what helped her move through it. If you've ever wondered why you keep falling back into the same patterns despite knowing better, this episode is for you.
We talk about:
How childhood survival responses quietly run adult life
Why perfectionism, people-pleasing and numbing are trauma
The reason why understanding isn't enough to break a spiral
Rebecca's own hardest challenge — and what helped her through it
Get Rebecca's book: Available in all good bookstores and online retailers across Australia International: Available on Audible (narrated by Dr Rebecca Ray) and Kindle
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