Charisma. Some people seem to walk into a room and just have it. People lean in, listen, remember them, and want more time with them. And for those of us who are introverts? Well, it can be easy to assume we were simply left out of the charisma lottery.
But what if charisma isn’t something we’re born with? What if it’s something we can actually learn?
In this episode, Nicole sits down with Olivia Fox Cabane, one of the world’s leading authorities on the science of charisma and bestselling author of The Charisma Myth. Olivia has taught and lectured at Stanford, Harvard, Yale, MIT, and the United Nations and has worked with leaders at companies including Google, Deloitte, TikTok, and Airbnb.
They discuss:
Why charisma is different from charm and likability
The science showing that charisma can actually be learned
Why there isn’t one “right” kind of charisma
The potential downsides of becoming more charismatic
Why introverts may have a major charisma advantage
The three components of charisma: presence, power, and warmth
Why self-criticism makes it harder to stay present and connected
How instant self-forgiveness can help us recover from awkward moments
Why mistakes can actually make us more relatable
Why taking up space matters when communicating power
How vocal patterns like uptalk can affect perceived authority and credibility
The difference between being nice and being kind
Why the harsher the message, the warmer the delivery should be
How intent and impact can help distinguish influence from harmful manipulation
How charisma can exist without likability
Why learning charisma doesn’t require becoming someone else
The goal isn’t to walk into a room and make everyone think, Wow, she’s charismatic. It’s to stop borrowing somebody else’s magnetism and start trusting our own.
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Connect with Olivia:
Website: https://www.oliviafoxcabane.com/
Book: https://www.charismamyth.com/
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ofc/
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