We spend a whole lot of time thinking about how other people perceive us. How we communicate, present, negotiate, network, make a good impression, say the right thing at the right time. Basically, we put a lot of effort into being interesting.
But what if we spent more time being interested?
Because entire conversations are happening around us that have nothing to do with what anyone is actually saying. And we might be missing all of it because we’re too busy planning the next brilliant thing we’re going to say.
In this episode, Nicole sits down with Pamela Meyer, a leading expert on deception detection who trains executives and institutional leaders on information elicitation, social observation, and insider threat mitigation. She’s also the author of How to Read the Room: The Art and Science of Social Observation.
They discuss:
Why being confident in our ability to read a room doesn’t mean we’re actually good at it
Why talking less can help us notice more
How our own ego, biases, and needs distort what we observe
Why asking “How can I make this room better?” can change an interaction
Pamela’s “Triple B” method: background, behavior, and beliefs
What to watch immediately after conflict happens
How to identify informal power and influence in a room
The back-pocket questions that can reveal what people are really thinking
Why crossed arms, eye contact, and other body language “rules” can mislead us
Why clusters of behavior matter more than individual gestures
Verbal and nonverbal signals that may warrant closer attention when deception is suspected
How to avoid confusing anxiety or nervousness with dishonesty
Why context, curiosity, and giving people the benefit of the doubt matter
Maybe the most powerful person in the room isn’t the one talking the most. Maybe it’s the one paying attention.
Thank you to our sponsors!
Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to HeyPolo.com/work or use code WORK and get 70% off your first year
Connect with Pamela:
Website: https://PamelaMeyer.com
Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250378230?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback
X: https://x.com/Pamela_Meyer
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelameyer
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131 / Maximize Your Success By Managing Your Ego with Christie Garcia
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