At the end of every episode of The Upgraded Man there is a physical journal. The guest reads what the last guest wrote, sits with it, and then writes something down for the next guest. Same book every time, passed from man to man.

Larry Hagner reads the entry Phillip Lanier left behind: "It is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war." Larry takes it into what it means to be a warrior outside your castle instead of inside it, where the people you love live.

Then he writes his own, and he does not soften it. "The definition of hell is being on your deathbed and meeting the man that you could have become."

He explains why that line and not another one. His oldest was about to leave for college. His wife had asked him if he regretted anything about how he raised that kid. He could look at her and say no. He had done the work, he had made the connection, and if he died tomorrow there would be nothing left on the table between him and his son.

That is the whole test, and it is a hard one. Not whether you loved your kids. Whether you would have anything to regret if the clock ran out today.

In this episode:

  • The entry Phillip Lanier left, and what Larry does with it
  • Being a warrior outside your castle, not inside it
  • The line Larry left for the next guest, and why he chose it
  • The question his wife asked him about his oldest son
  • What no regrets actually looks like when you check the work

Larry Hagner is the founder of The Dad Edge and author of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood. Find him at thedadedge.com and at The Dad Edge on Instagram and YouTube.

The Upgraded Man is for men who refuse to stay complacent. Full episode with Larry is available now.


This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.

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