Larry Hagner is the founder of The Dad Edge and host of The Dad Edge Podcast. He has spent more than a decade helping men become better husbands and fathers. In this Wednesday episode, he lays out the order most men get backward at home.
Larry uses an oak tree to explain it. The branches are your marriage, your kids, your work, your friends. The trunk is you. Most men skip the trunk. They selflessly serve everybody else, never lead themselves, and then wonder why the people counting on them still feel hungry and thirsty.
This is a short, practical episode. No filler, and every idea comes with a story out of Larry's own house.
Here is what Chris and Larry get into:
- The oak tree. Why the trunk is you, and what happens to the branches when you ignore it.
- The daily anchor every man needs. For Larry it is fitness and faith, every single day, no exceptions.
- Why leading yourself first is not selfish. It is the most selfless thing you do, because your output is what your family actually gets.
- It is not about what we teach. It is about what they catch.
- The order that works. Yourself, then your marriage, then your kids.
- The back burner trap. How a marriage quietly slides to the back burner once kids arrive, and how to move yours back up front.
- Seen, heard, and safe. The three things his wife needs. Respect, appreciation, and affection. The three he needs.
- The night his 14 year old asked if they were getting divorced, and why Larry told him to pull up a chair and watch them resolve it.
- Lead your kids through questions, not lectures, so they learn to think instead of waiting to be told.
- Respond instead of react, and how to build psychological safety, an environment free from shame, blame, pain, and guilt.
- Why that safety decides whether your 18 year old calls you at 3 a.m. or rolls the dice and drives home.
- Stop fixing. Validate, normalize, and replace the word why with the words tell me more.
Find Larry:
Website: thedadedge.com
Free conversation starters: thedadedge.com/25questions and thedadedge.com/kidquestions
His book: thedadedge.com/legendarybook
Instagram and YouTube: The Dad Edge
This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.
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