Self care for men gets treated like a waste of time. Ralph B., founder of Help For Men and author of The Dead Bedroom Fix, tells Chris Anderson on The Upgraded Man why that guilt is wrong, and why the men who take a time out get more done.
Every Friday, the last guest leaves something in the Upgraded Man Journal and the next guest answers it. Thomas Edwards left this for Ralph: “God put you here to play one game in life that matters. And that’s your game. No one else’s. All you have to do is play and never stop playing.”
Ralph B. is known online as Dad Starting Over. He rebuilt his life after divorce, wrote the books that hundreds of thousands of men have picked up, and now works with men every day. This one is for the dad who is physically at the playground and mentally at the office.
In this episode:
- What “play and never stop playing” means to a man who talks to serious men all day
- When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? Ralph says most men cannot answer
- Why playing with your kids while thinking about tomorrow’s meeting does not count
- The inside jokes and little rituals with your wife that quietly disappear, and why that matters
- How privileged it is to make a living in front of a glowing box, and why that should make you lighter, not heavier
- Chris on learning to have more fun while building a business, raising kids, and coaching
- The question Ralph leaves for the next guest: what have you done for yourself today?
- Why men feel shame the moment they point inward, and where that came from
- Why a time out for dad makes the next seven hours of work better, not worse
Questions this episode answers
Why do I feel guilty doing something for myself?
Ralph B. says somebody along the way taught you that anything pointed inward is a waste of time. It is not. There is nothing shameful about a time out for dad.
Does taking time for yourself actually help?
Yes. Ralph B. says every piece of data shows that a short time out makes the next seven hours of work more productive.
How do I stop being so serious all the time?
Ask yourself when you last had a real belly laugh, Ralph B. says. Then shut it all down for a bit and play. Chris Anderson says learning to have more fun has been one of his biggest lessons the last couple of years.
Find Ralph at helpformen.com. His book is The Dead Bedroom Fix. On social media, search Dad Starting Over on any platform.
The Upgraded Man is hosted by Chris Anderson. Follow the show, and send this one to a dad who has not laughed hard in a while.
#theupgradedman #selfcareformen #dadlife
This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.
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