219 - Heartbreak on the Setlist (Q from Anonymous)

You’re a professional. It’s just four minutes. So why does this song feel like a punch in the chest?

In Episode 219 – A Drummer’s Guide To… Heartbreak on the Setlist (Q from Anonymous), I answer a listener’s question about performing a song that’s deeply tied to a painful past relationship.

Should you just “be professional” and play it? Or are you allowed to have boundaries in a band?

We explore: 🥁 The difference between suppression and emotional regulation 🥁 When pushing through builds resilience — and when it’s just self-punishment 🥁 How music hardwires itself to memory 🥁 Whether raising it with your band is weakness… or maturity 🥁 How to reclaim a song that hurts (if you choose to)

This isn’t just about one sad tune. It’s about emotional labour in performance — and what professionalism actually means.

If you’ve ever had to show up on stage while something personal was going on… this one’s for you.

💬 Want your question answered on a future episode? Submit it here: EmilyDrums.com/ama

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