The Hidden Reality of Growing Up in a Medical Household

Garrett Holt on growing up as Toby’s brother and learning patience in a special needs family

Becky Davidson talks with Garrett Holt, a junior at Cedarville University studying IT management, about life as the brother of Toby Holt, who has spina bifida and significant medical needs. The conversation focuses on sibling dynamics, family rhythms, and how growing up in that environment shaped Garrett’s patience, perspective, and relationships.

Garrett also shares how games, shared interests, and intentional conversation helped him build a stronger bond with Toby over time.

Key topics

• Garrett’s current life in college - He is a junior at Cedarville University studying IT management because he wanted a people-focused path in the tech world.
• Family bonding through games - Board games, card games, video games, and sports have been a major part of the Holt family culture.
• What it was like being the second oldest - Garrett reflects on being in the middle of Connor, Toby, and Karis, and how that shaped his role in the family.
• Growing up with Toby’s medical needs - He remembers ambulances, hospital stays, surgeries, and the way those emergencies became part of the family’s normal.
• Homeschooling as a family adjustment - Garrett explains that homeschooling helped the family handle Toby’s frequent appointments and unpredictable medical schedule.
• Living with nurses in the home - He shares how having caregivers around the house affected privacy, comfort, and family dynamics.
• From sibling rivalry to intentional relationship - Garrett describes how his relationship with Toby evolved from butting heads to finding connection through shared interests like Star Wars, movies, and games.
• How Toby is often underestimated - He notes that people tend to focus on Toby’s physical limitations and miss his personality, curiosity, humor, and depth.
• What special needs siblinghood taught him socially - Garrett says he became less assumption-driven, more patient, and more aware that people’s situations are often invisible.
• Advice for younger siblings - His main advice is to be patient, ask questions, include the sibling more intentionally, and focus on who you’re with rather than just what you’re doing.