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In this week’s episode 368 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about the “corporate chameleon”—the version of ourselves we create at work when we’re constantly adapting to what we think other people need, expect, or want from us.
I explore how behaviors like being dependable, accommodating, helpful, and willing to go above and beyond can look like healthy professionalism while actually being driven by fear, insecurity, or the need to prove that we belong. The problem isn’t doing excellent work. It’s using our usefulness as a way to earn our place.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
- How being praised for going above and beyond can make unhealthy workplace patterns difficult to recognize
- The difference between healthy adaptability and changing yourself to fit what you think the room requires
- Why taking responsibility for other people’s feelings and work can become a boundary problem
- How pretending to know, refusing to ask for help, and trying to be indispensable can create a professional facade
- How to stay connected to yourself while still being dependable, collaborative, and excellent at your work
Recovery taught me that I didn’t need to stop being dependable, caring, generous, or willing to take initiative. I needed to disentangle those qualities from fear and stop using excellent work as currency to purchase belonging.
Ordinary professional statements:
“I don’t know, but I can find out.”
“I need some clarification before I proceed.”
“I can help with this part, but I can’t take responsibility for the entire thing.”
“I don’t have the capacity to add that unless we change another priority.”
“I think that decision belongs with you.”
Questions to ask yourself:
What does that version of you believe she must never need, admit, say, or feel?
What responsibilities are you carrying because you’re afraid of what might happen if you put them down?
Where are you trying to appear confident instead of allowing yourself to learn?
Where are you being helpful because you genuinely want to help, and where are you making yourself indispensable so you can feel secure?
The next time you feel yourself starting to change colors, pause and ask: “What is actually true for me right now?”
Healthy professionalism | The corporate chameleon pattern
Adapting how you communicate | Changing what you think to match the room
Helping a colleague | Carrying their responsibilities
Learning what you don’t know | Pretending you already know
Using discretion | Maintaining a facade
Being dependable | Believing you must be indispensable
Asking appropriate questions | Hiding uncertainty to avoid exposure
This episode is an invitation to notice who you become when you go to work. You don’t have to become less excellent or stop contributing. The goal is to know that you already belong before you prove anything.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at Fragmented to Whole Podcast
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Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley
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