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In this week’s episode 367 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m exploring what happens when life takes us somewhere different from where we thought we were going—and why different doesn’t automatically mean worse.
Using Emily Perl Kingsley’s Welcome to Holland metaphor as a starting point, I talk about the experience of grieving the life we expected while learning to notice what is possible in the life we actually have. Whether the transition involves a child leaving home, retirement, a relationship ending, a career change, a move, or another unexpected shift, we often see what we’re losing long before we can see what we might gain.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
- Why we so quickly equate change with loss
- How uncertainty can make familiar—even unhealthy—patterns feel safer
- Why unfamiliar doesn’t mean dangerous, and familiar doesn’t necessarily mean safe
- How routines can help us learn to live in a new chapter
- Why you can grieve what you left behind while still becoming curious about what comes next
You can choose a new chapter and still grieve the old one. Grief isn’t evidence that you made the wrong decision, and discomfort isn’t necessarily evidence that something has gone wrong. Sometimes it’s simply what it feels like to be somewhere you haven’t learned how to live yet.
This episode is an invitation to resist deciding too quickly that your new reality is worse than the one you imagined. You can plan to go to Italy, land in Holland instead, miss Italy, but still notice the tulips in Holland, and love them too.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
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Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley
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