Susan continues her Parenting Without Power Struggles series on Internal Family Systems, exploring how "firefighter" parts trigger intense reactivity, rage, and regrettable parenting moments. She explains that parents often fixate on what went wrong and overlook what went well — a result of the brain's survival-based negativity bias, which fuels shame and discouragement rather than change.
Susan describes why firefighter parts need consistent proof that a grounded, wise Self ("Captain of the ship") can handle hard moments without escalating, and how logging small successes helps those protective parts relax their grip over time.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why your brain is wired to magnify threats and mistakes
Why understanding a reactive pattern intellectually isn't enough to change it — protective parts need proof, not insight.
How a moment as small as catching yourself and stepping out of the room counts as real evidence of change — not a near-failure.
Chapters: 00:00 Welcome and Recap 02:12 Why Negatives Stick 03:55 Survival Brain Bias 05:36 Firefighters and Self 11:06 Build Proof With Wins 14:36 Daily Five Wins Homework 18:32 Small Steps and Growth 19:57 Coaching and Wrap Up
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