Here's a question most men never ask themselves until it's too late: If you found out today you had six months to live what would you regret?
Turns out, the answer is almost entirely predictable. And preventable. Researchers have been interviewing men in hospice care, in their 70s and 80s, men who built impressive careers and full lives — and the same ten regrets show up over and over, regardless of income, culture, or zip code.
Which means two things: you're not uniquely screwed up. And these regrets can be avoided.
In this episode, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down the ten most common regrets men report later in life, what the research actually says about how regret works (hint: the things you didn't do hurt worse than the things you did), and the single pattern underneath all of it that most men never see until it's too late.
You'll hear about the attorney who showed up to every recital and missed his daughter's entire childhood. The project manager who retired fully funded and spent eight months in an empty fog. The guy who spent 25 years saying he'd walk the Camino de Santiago — until his knees made the decision for him.
This isn't a shame spiral. This is a heads-up. A roadmap of the terrain most men walk blindly into — and a set of tools for navigating it differently while there's still time.
In this episode:
- Why inaction regrets are more painful and persistent than action regrets (Northwestern research)
- The "impact bias" — why men massively underestimate how bad future regret will feel
- The top 10 regrets men report most consistently as they age
- The Inner Board Meeting model — and why most men have the wrong executive running their life
- A one-week assignment that actually moves the needle (no journaling required)
- The launch of Proximity Coaching — AI coaches built on 30 years of real psychology, available 24/7 at proximitycoaching.com
If you've had any version of the thought "I'll get to that later" — this episode is for you.
Try Proximity Coaching free: proximitycoaching.com Email John: John@guidetoself.com Instagram: @theevolvedcaveman
Research cited: Roese & Summerville (2005); Gilovich & Medvec (1995); Carstensen (2006); van der Kolk (2014); Levenson, Carstensen & Gottman (1994)
Want Fewer Regrets and Greater Connection? Start Here…
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