What if your perfectionism, people-pleasing, hyper-independence, or difficulty asking for help isn’t just “the way you are”? In this episode of The Thick Thighs Save Lives Podcast, we sit down with psychotherapist and bestselling author Terri Cole to unpack what she calls a “father wound” and why you don’t need to have had an abusive or “bad” father to have trauma.
Terri explains how growing up with a father or father figure who was absent, emotionally unavailable, struggling with addiction or mental health challenges, overly critical, or simply unable to give you what you needed can create wounds that don’t stay in childhood.
They show up later as chronic self-doubt, harsh self-criticism, poor boundaries, fear of abandonment, hypervigilance, body image struggles, and even the partners we repeatedly choose.
Have kids? They also discuss parenting and why healing our own wounds may be one of the most powerful ways to avoid passing them to the next generation.
Don’t worry, healing a father wound does not require your father to participate. Don’t miss this important conversation!
(00:00:55) Welcome Terri Cole to the podcast
(00:03:40) The different types of father wounds
(00:12:10) Why childhood wounds trigger adult reactions
(00:19:38) Why mother wounds get more attention
(00:22:43) How to not screw up our own kids
(00:30:11) Hidden symptoms of a father wound
(00:32:49) Next step after identifying your father wound
(00:37:00) Does dad need to be involved in the healing process?
(00:44:10) How your wounds affect romantic relationships
(00:48:55) One thing Terri wants to leave listeners with today
Links:
To Pre-Order Terri Cole’s new book: Father Wound: Break Unhealthy Patterns to Reclaim Your Worth and Your Power (Releasing October 27, 2026) FatherWoundBook.com
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Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. The views expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical diagnosis, treatment, or advice. Always consult your physician or qualified healthcare provider before making changes to your diet, exercise routine, medications, supplements, or healthcare plan. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers.
