Between the two of us, we have been through cancer twice, on opposite sides of it, and we have heard some things. Some truly wild things.
In this one, Darren joins me to put them all on the table. The comments, the questions, the head tilts, the "how long did they give you," the "at least you get a free boob job." We are laughing about it, because after everything we have earned that, and then we get into the part that actually matters: what to say, and what not to say, when someone you love gets news like this.
Here is what we get into:
The prognosis questions and why the number is never the whole story
The doom stories people cannot wait to share
The breast cancer "specials" every survivor has heard
Why "aren't you done with that already" misses what survivorship really is
The comments people aim at the well spouse, not the patient
The friends who go quiet, and why the silence hurts more than any clumsy comment
What actually helps, in plain and simple words
Almost nobody who said these things meant to hurt us. So this is not a roast. It is a peek into what it really feels like on the receiving end, so you can show up a little better for the people you love.
Grab my free 13 Self-Care Tips guide: jendelvaux.com/selfcare
Got your own wild one? DM me the craziest thing anyone ever said to you and we may read it on part two.
Wake up and expect every day to be the best day of your life.
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