What does it take to build the relationship promised by Secrets of Happily Ever After, and which familiar ideas might be getting in the way? Ryan Hartley speaks with Monica Tanner, certified relationship coach, host of Secrets of Happily Ever After and author of Bad Marriage Advice: Debunking Myths That Will Make You Miserable and What To Do Instead, about the assumptions and habits that can draw well-meaning couples apart.
Monica’s book, Bad Marriage Advice: Debunking Myths That Will Make You Miserable and What To Do Instead, examines 15 common myths and offers skills in their place. In the episode, she draws on Relational Life Therapy concepts, including differentiation: remaining yourself while staying connected to someone whose views differ from yours.
Those with ears, let them hear.
Always love,
Ryan
Connect with Monica Tanner
Official website: https://www.monicatanner.com/
Book and author page: https://www.badmarriageadvice.com/get-the-book
Podcast website: https://secretsofhappilyeverafter.buzzsprout.com/
Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/secrets-of-happily-ever-after-marriage-and-intimacy/id1345544810
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/monitalksmarriage/
Connect with Always Better Than Yesterday
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Questions and reflections: podcast@abty.co.uk
Episode chapters
00:00 Monica Tanner on marriage and real life
07:16 The childhood story behind her work
09:09 Happily ever after takes intention
10:46 How couples drift into roommate syndrome
13:09 Bad marriage advice and happiness
15:50 Resentment as a dashboard warning light
18:46 Healing, childhood needs and familiar wounds
24:26 Self-affirmation and validation
27:43 Seeing the impact of our behaviour
31:05 Pornography, shame and understanding the root
34:45 Authenticity without losing connection
38:07 The family patterns we pass on
42:26 Compassionate curiosity in practice
45:01 A question to build emotional intimacy
46:42 Monica’s work and final message
Description: Monica Tanner, author of Bad Marriage Advice, joins Ryan Hartley to discuss marriage myths, resentment, roommate syndrome and communication in couples. Learn how everyday habits can weaken connection, why resentment can act as a warning sign, and how compassionate curiosity can help partners understand each other and begin rebuilding emotional intimacy.
Disclaimer: This episode shares general relationship-coaching perspectives and is not therapy or a substitute for professional care. If you are facing abuse, coercion, or immediate danger, seek qualified local support.
#MonicaTanner #BadMarriageAdvice #MarriageAdvice
