This week: a fake Instagram "abortion announcement" splits the internet, Tulsa finally catches its mysterious thong-and-shower-cap vandal, the ex-deputy who killed Sonya Massey dies in prison, Meta pays $18 billion to make its addiction problem go away, a Delco fire chief's racist road-rage rant catches up with him in court, 49ers owner Jed York gets caught in a $140 prostitution sting, a Missouri fire chief's year-long murder cover-up finally cracks, a Rutgers dean gets busted for upskirt videos, a Minnesota "shadow puppet" game with heavy machinery turns deadly, longevity guru Bryan Johnson explains why he's never shared a bed with his girlfriend (until now), a passenger skips a five-foot walk to the bathroom on a flight to Shanghai, and a Weehawken restaurant learns the hard way that kitchen notes shouldn't end up on the plate. Buckle up.
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