Part 1: Deconstructing the Stages of Gaslighting

Sarah Morales is a Certified Life and Relationship Coach and gaslighting specialist who also sits on the board of APSATS – the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts and Trauma Specialists. Together with Dr. Rob she deconstructs the stages of gaslighting, explains the differences between gaslighting, manipulation and guilt, and addresses common emotions and doubts that partners have when they are being gaslit. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[3:19] The motivation behind Sarah’s work with gaslighting. 

[5:42] What are common gaslighting patterns? 

[8:00] Differentiating between manipulation, guilt, and gaslighting. 

[10:51] Flowcharts to breakdown gaslighting. 

[12:37] Stages of progressive and chronic gaslighting. 

[17:35] Cognitive dissonance at higher levels of gaslighting. 

[19:41] Do gaslighters know what they are doing? 

[23:33] Diversion tactics and self-abandonment. 

[28:40] Maybe my gaslighter is actually right about me? 

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101 

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Sarah Morales

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. 

QUOTES:

• “Gaslighting undermines partners who are asking for what they need in order to feel safe in a relationship.” 
• “Gaslighting only works when it happens from a person that we’re supposed to be able to trust.” 
• “Eventually I no longer see myself through my own eyes, I only see myself through my gaslighter’s eyes.”