Hi, it’s Neil Cowmeadow here with episode 437 of The Tutor Podcast, the Monday morning shot of uncommon sense for anyone who wants start, grow and love their own tutoring, teaching and coaching business – the same way I love mine.
As usual I’ve been rummaging through the ragbag of my mind and my notebooks, the ones I’ve made during all the courses, seminars, classes, webinars, conferences, field trips, research projects, books, trade press, videos and a ton of other stuff I’ve done over the years… Boiling it down to get at the good bits so I can give them to you in a no-nonsense, No BS kind of way... So I’m squeezing a little more juice out of it for myself, and –at the same time - sharing it with you here in the hope that it helps you have as much fun at work and in life as I do.
And – of course - I’m not just here to talk, I’m listening - so if you have any ideas that might be worth sharing via the show – get in touch info@neilcowmeadow.com or on X where I am @TutorPodcast, and maybe you can help me to learn something new, something better? Because I’m smart enough to realise that I don’t have all the answers, and if I rely on my own tiny, pea-sized brain to solve all of my problems…. Well.....
If you’re good with that, let’s crack on...
As you know – I’m a big fan of doing things differently – maybe I’m just contrary, odd, “unusual” or some other fancy-pants name for being open to being wrong.
I’d settle for “contrarian”, because I’ve often found that doing the exact opposite of what miserable people do makes me happy, doing the opposite of what poor people do has made me money, and doing the opposite of what unsuccessful people do has made me successful… in my own terms.
What that looks like is a very busy life which is mostly spent with people I love, doing things I enjoy…
Years ago I worked with a couple of guys who were quite depressed. Being my usual, ridiculously optimistic self, I bounced around and tried to lift them up a bit – this was long before I got into NLP, coaching and hypnosis – before – even – I started my teaching business… ancient history!
I used to watch what they did, how they moved when they were having good or bad days, how they eld themselves and the way they spoke…
I was a nosey bugger, even back ten.
You see I had an idea – not a very bright one, but hang in there with me, because I was young and uneducated then…
The idea was that if I could see what they did, maybe I’d figure out why they were depressed…
My brilliant idea worked!!
I experimented with moving, standing, sitting, talking just like my two colleagues – and I got depressed!!
Genius.
After a while my little old brain decided it was bored with being a bit depressed and suggested (in one of my unguarded moments) that I should do the opposite of what I was doing – INVERT THE PROCESS that produced depression and start to study happy people, successful people…
I did, and it worked… I got happier.
Double-genius!
They say that success leaves clues – well, so does failure.
If you can figure out what it is that someone does that causes them to fail, thwarts their ambitions and steals their dreams, you can write a Failure Manual, based on your research.
Likewise, figure out what successful people do, happy people do, healthy people do… and you can write a Success Manual, based on That research.
The process is INVERSION – doing the opposite of normal.
I mention this because it popped up during a mentoring session a couple of weeks ago: the mentee was frustrated by her progress and had begun to blame herself for the current state of things… I’m all for accountability, but not if it turns inward to self-blame and self hate.
I stopped her, mis-flow. Handed her a pen and paper, put on my grown-up face and asked her to write me a failure guide for her business.
“a what?” she asked
“A Failure Guide” I said. “Write down everything you are currently doing in life and business that is guaranteeing that you can’t get what you want. You have ten minutes – GO!”
“Go!” I repeated…
Her head went down and the pen started skipping across the page.
Five minutes, and the pen was still dancing.
Ten minutes, and the page was full, along with half of a second page…
I let the clock run…
When her head came up, she was smiling.
“That’s really clever” she said… “all I have to do now is stop doing everything on this list, right?”
“Yep. Start with just one thing that you can eliminate, today, and stop doing it. You can start with a small thing, to get used to the idea, or head straight for one of the bigger ones. The important thing is that you get comfortable not doing it, then move on to the next thing on the list.”
Whenever I’ve done this with students or mentees, they all knew what they were doing that was holding them back, and the results have been very positive. Somehow, writing it all down really held up their nonsense for scrutiny. They got honest witht ehmselves and made changes.
How cool is that?
If you’re stuck, frustrated, blocked, thwarted and/or frustrated, take a little time to draw up your own failure manual…
When you do this, you only have to do the opposite of what’s on the list to experience radically different outcomes.
Nice…
Let me know when you’ve had a bash at this and how you got on – I’d love to hear from you.
Drop me an email to info@neilcowmeadow.com and if you have any comments, questions or problems, get in touch - again it’s info@neilcowmeadow.com or on X where I am @The Tutor Podcast
Let’s leave it there for today – I hope this show has got you thinking and has been some help to you and that you’ll join me next time on The Tutor Podcast for more No-BS tips and ideas of how to Start, Grow and Love YOUR Tutoring Business – just like I love mine.
Till then, remember that Life is largely what you make it, so make it good. Be excellent to yourselves - stay healthy, stay useful, and Have a Fabulous Day!
