Hi, it’s Neil Cowmeadow here with episode 441 of The Tutor Podcast, the Monday morning shot of uncommon sense for anyone who wants start, grow and love their own tutoring, teaching and coaching business – the same way I love mine.
I’m here to share ideas that have helped me in my business journey as a teacher, entrepreneur, investor and mentor in a no-nonsense, No BS kind of way... in the hope that it helps you have as much fun at work and in life as I do.
And – of course - I’m listening: so if you have any ideas that you think might be worth exploring on the show – get in touch info@neilcowmeadow.com or on X where I am @TutorPodcast, and maybe you can help me to learn something new, something better? Because I’m smart enough to realise that I don’t have all the answers – nobody does - and if I rely on my own tiny, pea-sized brain to solve all of my problems…. Well.....
If you’re good with that, let’s crack on...
Ever come home from the gym or a long run and just flopped?
Flumped down on the sofa, and just let every part of your body breathe out?
After all your exertions, the sofa just cradles you there – soothing and supportive – like finding yourself in the palm of some great and benevolent hand...
It’s a safe place where you can let go of all the tension in those worked-up muscles, lean back and feel the comfort of the soft cushions holding you up...
We do this with our bodies – instinctively we understand that our bodies need a moment or six to let the stress hormones and the chemistry of effort leave our system, then begin the slow process of recovery and rebuilding our body’s energy reserves so that we are prepared and ready to meet the next challenge.
Everybody knows that – on a physical level - we will need to recover, restore, and come back a little stronger after the hard work.
But I wonder how many of us treat our brains the same way?
After a day of hard thinking – crunching numbers, working with challenging clients, or just handling our own internal nonsense – how do we come down from those high stress, high energy-consuming activities?
For some it’s time to collapse in front of the TV and veg-out. For others it’s meeting friends to talk over life, the universe and everything, for some it’s going home to the family and all of the competing claims on their time and attention: playing with the kids, helping with homework, cooking dinner, giving their spouse or partner some attention: hey, they may even make it to the gym or crash out 5K in the park... the list goes on and on.
But here’s the thing: all of those things matter – they all count – but they are all active and demanding of the brain and its ability to process complex incoming information: no wonder a great many people are mentally frazzled most of the time – for their brains, the work never stops.
Maybe you’ve experienced this yourself or know someone who lives this every day of their lives?
I know lots of folks who are like that!
You could say that that’s how modern life is: full-on, 24/7 always on the go, always busy doing something... and it is true for a lot of people.
But not everyone...
I’ve met some people who – you would think – had completely batshit crazy busy lives: artists, business people, writers, and – of course – musicians. Some of them were living batshit crazy 24/7 lives that never slowed down... but not all of them.
There are a handful of those people who were strangely serene, calm, and unflustered by almost anything...
Oddballs, in the main.
When I asked them to give me three tips about what they did to handle stress and stay relaxed they freely shared their methods. What surprised me was how similar their answers were:
Manage your time ruthlessly – we’ve done previous episodes on this subject
Write stuff down – likewise, I’ve covered this on the show before
Eliminate distractions – get away from the TV and your phone if you want to get things done
Go into the silence – the surprising one for me was how many of them had rituals built into their day where they deliberately went into a silent room and did NOTHING AT ALL.
No TV, no phone, no distracting stuff littering up the place, no notes, no conversations: just silence.
One of them said he like to “wrap himself up in the comforting warmth of his silent room”.
He said it was where his mind could breathe out...
I get it.
When your brain has no new information coming at it (much of which is processed as a potential threat), it begins to stand-down from its alert state...
Stress chemicals produced under stress stop being produced to the same extent, and eventually stop altogether, so no nasty hormones get dumped into your bloodstream and organs...
Your hearrate and breathing rate begin to slow...
With attention, muscles relax...
And – at the top of all this – your brain breathes out...
If your body benefits from a post-workout sofa, wouldn’t it make sense to give your brain its own “sofa” to help it to relax and begin recovering after a heavy day’s thinking?
This might be 5 minutes of sitting in the car on the driveway before entering your home... no phone, no radio or in-car entertainment, no nagging voice from the car’s internal systems to break the silence – or at least the quiet, since cars are acoustically treated to make the cabin feel safe and quiet...
Or have a place in your home where – for just five minutes – there is silence in which the tired mind can stretch out a little bit and sigh...
Maybe this is why reading on the loo is such a cliché: you get five minutes of privacy and quiets, since even the most stupid of people understand that you’re busy and should be left alone for while. And since most bathrooms don’t have a TV, there is no chatter to occupy the mind as it rests...
Maybe that 50” TV doesn’t need to be on all day, every day?
Give your brain a break and build silence into your life: your brain will thank you for it. Start small – a few minutes to begin with – then extend the time in silence as you become more comfortable with silence itself...
Many people are freaked-out when everything is quiet – it is unfamiliar to them and makes them tense... their minds stay busy and distracted... that’s ok – for them.
Your job is to begin to go into the silence and just listen... observe, accept, let go...
Other people and their special brand of crazy will still be there, the news will still be on repeat cycle, the radio will still be ready to shower you with calls from bigots and dullards, lying politicians and manufactured celebrity gossip...
For now, let’s have a quiet five minutes, eh?
And when you’ve done that. I'd love to hear from you.
Drop me an email to info@neilcowmeadow.com and if you have any comments, questions or problems, get in touch - again it’s info@neilcowmeadow.com or on X where I am @The Tutor Podcast
Let’s leave it there for today – I hope this show has got you thinking and has been some help to you and that you’ll join me next time on The Tutor Podcast for more No-BS tips and ideas of how to Start, Grow and Love YOUR Tutoring Business – just like I love mine.
Till then, remember that your time is precious, your life is largely what you make it, so always make it good. Be excellent to yourselves - stay healthy, stay useful, and Have a Fabulous Day!
