Parent Driven Development

Episode 058: Co-parenting with Brandon Hays

Welcome Brandon!

Brandon Hays is a dad and engineering leader based in Austin, TX. His professional mission is to help the tech industry improve by organizing people to accomplish things together in environments that recognize and support their "human-ness". His personal mission is to survive parenthood until the kids are in college.

02:40 Brandon's co-parenting

Starting with traditional gender roles

Co-parenting was a foriegn concept until remote work..

The invisible work becomes more visible

Covid has forced parents to confront the amount of work it takes to raise kids

06:30 Co-parenting during the pandemic

Awareness that things changed… kids cannot return to school

Brandon becomes the educator during the pandemic

The amount of work to parent became too high when everything shut down

Reworking the home dynamic when one partner needs help

Asking for flexibility in places where he had previous thought was not available before

10:53 Working out responsibility between partners

Clear contracts

Splitting up tasks and making them known to each partner

Alternating cooking dinner and clean up

Family clean day

Creating activities for kids, even after a long day

Check in with your partner, how are you feeling burden?

14:05 Recognize your partner's strengths

Being comfortable with how each partner co-parents

Recognition of each partner

Optimize each parenting style and continue to check in

Asking and taking the self-care when it is needed

17:30 Working together

19:10 How has Covid refocused things?!

Strengthened the team mentality

Hard to sustain the intensity of the pandemic

Constant change, the on-call parent

24:40 Prioritization - Do our actions line up with our values?

27:00 Take away: preserve time for planning and reflection

28:35 Genius / fail moments

Allison checks in while her son is in virtual school and feels major mom guilt…

Chris’s family visits and brings his camper for a huge win!

Arit slyly phases out her daughters stuffed animal #genius

Jess’s son goes full into minecraft, but it may be too much.. #possiblegenius

KWu repurposed geotags for wooden toys for her kids #genius

Brandon get creative taking pictures of his kids in their natural habitat

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Chris Arcand





Special Guest: Brandon Hays.

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