There is a general perception in our culture that it's normal for couples to fight. The pervasive belief is marriage and relationships are hard work. You hear that all the time. So, it's no surprise that many people think if you're going to commit, you need to roll up your sleeves and get prepared to battle your way through a lifetime of togetherness. That sounds like no one's idea of a good idea and it sets us up to believe that unhappy, dysfunctional relationships are normal. And yet, lots of people decide to do it anyway. It's a mystery.
So we couple up, and hope for happily-ever-after but prepare for the worst, because you know, it's going to be hard work. And after the new car smell wears off it starts. Maybe it's not much in the beginning, but we fight and we think that fighting is normal, if not actually healthy.
However, over time, conflict and resentment start to color how we perceive our relationships and our partners. In fact, eventually, conflict and resentment change the way we think about ourselves. The truth is a lot of fighting in a relationship, while it might be normal, is not healthy at all. The long-term prognosis for a couple that's fighting a lot isn't good, no matter how normal fighting might or might not be.
We are going to talk about 1 strategy that will help you keep your relationship out of the conflict zone and keep you relating to your partner in real-time where it's actually happening.
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