When Your Phone Gets Between You and Your Child

Your phone might be getting in the way of your child’s learning, confidence and connection with you.

Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack three research findings every parent should know, from the link between heavy AI use and lower school test scores to why early puberty may increase anxiety risk in girls. They also explore how being ignored while a parent scrolls can affect a teenager’s sense of security in the relationship.

Discover what the research tells us, where the limits of the evidence lie, and how to give your child more opportunities to feel supported, connected and confident.

KEY POINTS

• AI and learning: Students who frequently use AI chatbots for schoolwork scored lower in science and reading than those who rarely use them. How children use AI matters.
• Early puberty and anxiety: Research links earlier, faster puberty in girls with a higher risk of anxiety symptoms. Supportive relationships may help provide important protection.
• Phone distraction and attachment: Teenagers who feel ignored by a parent’s phone use are more likely to report insecure attachment to that caregiver.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“She needs protective factors in her life.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• PISA assessment findings on AI use and student performance, reported by Lucy Carroll in The Australian
• Danish National Birth Cohort analysis on pubertal development and anxiety, published in the Journal of Affective Disorders
• Research examining parental phone use, "phubbing" and adolescent attachment

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• Encourage your child to use AI to explore ideas and learn, rather than letting it do their thinking or writing for them.
• If your daughter experiences early puberty, focus on supportive relationships, trusted role models and a safe home environment.
• Put your phone away when your child is trying to connect with you. Give them your attention, listen and show them they matter.
• Remember that research showing a link between two things does not automatically prove that one causes the other.

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