It's All Hard - Sudden vs Anticipated Loss

Is it harder when someone dies suddenly, or when you know their death is coming? 

It's a question that comes up often in grief spaces, and there's no easy answer. Both are hard - just in different ways. 

In this episode, Aimee Craig talks about grieving the deaths of both of her parents under very different circumstances. Aimee's dad died suddenly when she was 23, during a season of major life transitions. Nearly two decades later, her mom died after living with cancer for many years, including five years with a terminal diagnosis. 

Aimee reflects on how differently she experienced these losses - not just because of the circumstances of each death, but because of who she was at each point in her life. At 23, grief felt overwhelming and frightening. At 41, as a parent and longtime Dougy Center volunteer, she had more language and capacity for grief, even while navigating the difficult realities of caregiving and end-of-life decision making. 

We explore the emotional and physical impact of sudden loss versus anticipated death, the complicated realities of caregiving, and the grief that comes with milestone moments, holidays, and parenting without the support and celebration of your own parents. 

We also discuss what it means to actually witness grief and how having space to tell the truth without judgment or pressure to feel better - can help grief feel less isolating and a little easier to carry. 

We discuss:

• Sudden death and the shock it can have on the body and nervous system 
• Grieving before someone dies and the realities of caregiving 
• How grief changes as we change over time 
• The pressure and complexity of end-of-life decisions
• Parenting while grieving your own parents 
• Mother's Day, Father's Day, and other significant days
• Why witnessing grief matters 
• How being grief aware doesn't make us immune to being caught off guard by grief

If you're supporting someone who is grieving, or navigating grief yourself, this episode validates that there's no right or wrong way to feel in grief, no timeline for it, and that we can't measure grief by how someone died. 

Check out Aimee's podcast, Who Died?