If your mind starts spinning the second your head hits the pillow, replaying the conversation you had at lunch and rehearsing the one you have to have tomorrow, I want to tell you something that genuinely surprised me. Sometimes the goal is not to get rid of your anxiety at all.
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Chloe Carmichael, the clinical psychologist and USA Today bestselling author of Nervous Energy, who taught me to treat anxiety as a signal rather than a malfunction. Dr. Chloe and I work through how to tell the worry that is worth listening to from the kind that just loops, and then we go somewhere I did not expect, into why holding everything in might be quietly making your anxiety worse.
In This Episode
Why trying to get rid of your anxiety can backfire, and the single question to ask it instead
The mind map exercise for the kind of worry you cannot quite put your finger on
How to tell healthy fear from overthinking that just spins in circles
The eight Diet Cokes story that changed how I check for anxiety, because the body comes first
Why holding things in actually creates more anxiety instead of less
The difference between self censorship and healthy self restraint, and a simple way to spot which one you are doing
What to do when you finally speak up and it does not go well, including a tool Dr. Chloe calls the debrief date
What the friendship between two famously opposite Supreme Court justices teaches us about staying close to people we disagree with
This episode is for anyone who has ever laid awake at 2am with a brain that simply would not power down, then dragged through the next day exhausted and wired at the same time. It is also for you if you have ever smiled and nodded along with something you did not believe, and walked away feeling a little smaller for it. Anxiety and authenticity are far more connected than most of us realize. This conversation is about both, and about how getting a grip on one quietly helps you with the other.
Episode Breakdown
00:00:00 Why You Shouldn't Try to Get Rid of Your Anxiety
00:08:21 From a Yoga Mat to a PhD: How Anxiety Became Her Life's Work
00:18:06 Healthy Fear or Overthinking? How to Tell the Difference
00:24:30 The Mind Map Exercise for a Racing Mind
00:27:21 The Eight-Diet-Cokes Client: When Anxiety Is Actually Physical
00:34:40 Why Holding It All In Actually Makes Anxiety Worse
00:39:04 Self-Censorship vs. Healthy Self-Restraint
00:49:36 How to Speak Up Without Blowing Up the Relationship
00:59:27 The Three Doors: A Simple Way to Decode Any Anxiety
Resources
The full episode and show notes
Anxiety support, schedule a free consultation
What’s Holding You Back? Quiz (free)
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