Happy 1000th episode, Big Brother! What would Abraham Lincoln do? Probably not that thing with the tongue. The Crossovers are flailing and we lose Mallory, Hayley and Lala. From Count Cody to cringe zings, we beat the shit out of some pillows, examine the small print of the BB Bribe and wonder, is Dee the worst person to ever be born… and could Barrett finally grow some balls?

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