Death is not the end. In Mexico, it's a homecoming. While Ainslie MacLeod's Scottish upbringing approached death with bluntness and dark humor, Bryan Grijalva's Mexican roots celebrate Día de Muertos, welcoming loved ones back through altars, food, and remembrance.
Grief doesn’t shrink over time; you grow and expand the container around it.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and grief can hold joy and sadness together.
Cultures treat death very differently: Día de Muertos celebrates loved ones, while traditional Scottish funerals are restrained.
Altars, photos, favorite foods, and even painting can be ways to keep a loved one’s memory alive.
Loved ones may try to reach us through unusual behavior in electronics, animals, and nature, so pay attention when something happens that is out of the ordinary.
Not every butterfly or bird is a message; look for behavior that seems unnatural.
Overwhelming grief can make it harder to sense a loved one’s presence, and calming your system can help.
Community and support matter: grieving alongside others who understand reduces the need to explain.
Bryan observes that men and women tend to carry grief differently in the body, and that men often need physical, non-talk-based outlets.
We grieve the person and also the future we expected to share with them.
Choosing to live, even in small ways, is part of honoring the person you lost.
[00:38] Introduction
[01:09] Recovering from the flu after two retreats in Mexico
[03:19] Today’s topic: death, and the loss of Bryan’s sister and Ainslie’s daughter
[04:12] Dr. Raymond Moody’s image of grief and the heart chakra
[04:56] Scotland vs. Mexico: how different cultures approach death
[06:16] Bryan on Día de Muertos, family, and building an altar
[12:25] Dr. Laura Berman and “expanding the container” around grief
[13:19] “Smoking or non-smoking?” and funerals in the old country
[15:02] The landlady’s husband and the cousin in Portobello
[17:13] Scottish bluntness vs. Mexican reverence for the dead
[18:01] Marigolds, Coco, and how loved ones try to communicate
[21:06] The client whose grief was blocking her boyfriend’s messages
[22:20] Raising your vibration, and telling real signs from wishful thinking
[23:46] The bird in Ainslie’s mother-in-law’s apartment
[25:57] Painting Ainslie’s daughter as a form of altar
[27:27] The Love Mama retreat for grieving mothers
[31:45] How men grieve differently
[33:03] The Belgian widow who traded her black for floral dresses
[34:31] Grieving the future you expected, and choosing to live
[35:50] Grounded or Garbage: “When you’re dead, you’re dead”
[37:12] What did we learn today?
Together, they’ve been friends and collaborators for over 15 years.
